Words on a Page

There are many different types of love stories.  Romantic ones might be the ones we focus on the most but it's the day to day love stories that give our lives meaning.  Family, friends, pets, and even objects make us unique.  What's the point of all this sentimental nonsense you ask?  Well I've been thinking a lot about the loves in my life,  the ones that I have and the ones I expected to have but don't.  Living so far away from my family is hard, it's more than hard, sometimes it's devastating and I've found that I deal with that through the nostalgia of objects, books to be more specific. 

I am not ashamed to admit that I own certain books that I haven't read, but I keep them on the shelf because they have always been there throughout my life.  The Elric Saga is a perfect example.  As a small child I was very comfortable with the imagery of this white haired brooding man, so when I found the books on a used shelf I bought them without thinking twice.  I will never read them, not because I haven't enjoyed the work of Michael Moorcock in the past, but because for me those books represent a connection to the idea of "home".  The definition of "home" as a state of mind rather than location was instilled in me very early, so I'm comfortable with the notion that wherever Paul and I are, we are home.  But I can see those books on my shelf and feel an instant connection to my mother and in that moment distance doesn't matter. 

A self described "tree hugger" I'm going to show what a hypocrite I am because I have not yet succumbed to the world of e-readers.  I acknowledge their worth and their convenience and I think that for a lot of people they are a wonderful option.  But as an aspiring writer they scare me.  I have a very realistic view of the publishing world, and I should considering how long I've been witness to the ups and downs within it if not directly than peripherally.  My friends that I consider extremely successful writers still struggle to pay their bills, that's just the truth of the industry but there are a lot of issues still up in the air regarding e-publishing. 

I love the feel of books, the smell of them.  I love to buy books with inscriptions to strangers and feel that strange yet exciting connection to these people I've never met but can touch pages that they've touched.  I like to create stories in my mind about how the book came to me and hope that I can live up to the expectations of those before me.  I also take bad writing personally and have been known to throw books across rooms.  As I get older, I find I do that more often.  Throwing an e-reader would not be wise I think, and I would like to have the option of throwing or hugging whatever the case may be.

I can't explain why I've been thinking about this so much lately.  Maybe it's because I do feel far away and need to explore the things near to me that I can take comfort in or maybe it's because at some point in my life I want to be able to live by my words alone and hope that I can.  Whatever my reasoning, for now I will just have to keep buying bookshelves and be thankful for the walls that support them.